Interview with So

EW: It’s got to be hard because Jeff Probst is always saying how you have to play big to win this game, but a lot of times when you do that you get voted out early as well.
SO KIM: That’s true. And what you can’t expect is the people that you are playing with, and I had some of the savviest players that have probably ever been cast, so that’s what I was up against. So I tried to play big, and unfortunately it just didn’t work out in my case.
Let’s go back to that fateful moment where you and Joaquin had this choice to either be honest and bring back a big back of beans to your tribe, or to deceive and bring back a small bag, but get a clue to the location of the hidden immunity idol.
You’re forgetting, there was a neutral choice as well.
Ah, of course, the neutral choice! We’ll get to that in a minute, but you seemed a bit hesitant to go for the clue and that Joaquin was really pushing for it.
Absolutely. You can tell I was hesitant, but it was edited and I was actually much more hesitant. I actually tried to convince him for a little while that that wasn’t the best choice. And I hemmed and hawed. And what I didn’t realize at that moment just five minutes into the game is that Joaquin didn’t really understand the game. I knew the game much better than him and I really should have gone with my gut. That’s one of the things Jeff always says—listen to your instincts. You’ll fail when you don’t. And my instincts at that moment told me it wasn’t the right move. It was too early in the game. But you get out there and you’re so excited and want to make these big decisions and there’s an idol out there for you. My impulses took over.
Who came up with that absolute terrible lie about you all selecting a neutral option because you were worried you would be penalized for taking the honest option, which makes absolutely zero sense whatsoever?
I wish I didn’t have to own up to it, but it was me. It comes across as a pretty, pretty lame lie—I’ll own up to that fully. But you’re in that moment and have to come up with something, and the only thing we could come up with in thirty seconds was neutral. That’s all I could come up with in that moment.
Your other option would have been to agree with Joaquin to go for the clue, but then sell him out and tell everyone the truth once you got back to camp and said he insisted on it.
You’re right, I could have. What they also didn’t show was Joaquin and I talking about it many, many times. And what I realized about him was by the time we had committed to this lie, he didn’t understand the game and I knew he would be in my pocket and have my back no matter what. What they also don’t show is I also thought I had a very strong alliance with Shirin—or Shayleen, as I called her multiple times. I actually thought the three of us were going to work very well together. I actually told Shirin about the clue, so you don’t see any of that. It wasn’t like we came back and didn’t tell anyone about it and just got caught. We actually choose to tell a couple of people about it. That just didn’t get shown on the episode.
Why so aggressive about trying to get rid of Carolyn instead of seeing what the rest of the tribe was thinking?
I knew that the three girls were going to be on the outs. If we lost that first challenge, we knew that it was going to be one of the girls. And the three guys brought up that they wanted to be a in a four-person alliance with me and the three gentlemen. So Shirin seemed to be on the outs but I had promised Shirin I would work with her. I placated her a lot. I kept telling her we had her back. So it was really more of me being loyal to her for my alliance—or what I thought was my alliance with her. But after she did not do well in the challenge there was a lot of paranoia and things started to switch up after that.
Did you know Carolyn had found the idol?
I had no idea. I was completely shocked. We assumed she wasn’t looking for the idol at all so she must have found it fairly quickly and at a point when we had not looked as hard as we thought. So yes, that was a complete surprise and Tyler was the only person who knew going into Tribal.

Weekly $tats.

fantasy4reality.com Weekly Totals

How Points are Scored

How Points are Scored	Points
Contestant Survives Week 1	10
Contestant Survives Week 2	20
Contestant Survives Week 3	30
Contestant Survives Week 4	40
Contestant Survives Week 5	50
Contestant Survives Week 6	60
Contestant Survives Week 7	70
Contestant Survives Week 8	80
Contestant Survives Week 9	90
Contestant Survives Week 10	100
Contestant Survives Week 11	110
Contestant Survives Week 12	120
Contestant Survives Week 13	130
Contestant Survives Week 14	140
Contestant Survives Week 15	150
Contestant Survives Week 16	160
Contestant Finishes in Third Place	200
Contestant Finishes in Second Place	250
Contestant is Named Sole Survivor	300
Contestant Engages in a Screaming Fight With Another Contestant	10
Female Contestant Cries	10
Male Contestant Cries	20
Contestant Lies About His or Her Background (Points For Each Lie Awarded Once Per Season)	30
Contestant's Tribe Wins Reward Challenge	30
Contestant is Chosen to Share in the Reward	30
Contestant Shares or Surrenders the Reward	40
Contestant's Tribe Wins Immunity Challenge	40
Contestant Kisses Another Contestant. (A "Kiss" Means Anything Other Than a Peck on the Cheek. A Contestant Can Receive Kissing Points Once Per Setting)	50
Contestant is a Member of the Jury	50
Contestant Votes Against His or Her Alliance	50
Contestant Finds the Hidden Immunity Idol	50
Contestant Wins Individual Reward Challenge	60
Contestant is Given the Hidden Immunity Idol	70
Contestant Wins Individual Immunity Challenge	80
Contestant Successfully Plays the Hidden Immunity Idol to Survive	100
Contestant is Voted "America's Favorite Contestant"	100
Contestant Receives Medical Assistance	-20
Contestant Sits Out of a Challenge	-30
Contestant Audibly Prays	-40
Contestant Wastes a Hidden Immunity Idol	-40
Contestant Drops Out of Immunity Challenge for a Tempting Gift From Jeff	-50
Contestant Quits the Show, is Thrown Off the Show or is Forced to Leave Due to Injury or Illness	-100

Some Bests From Jeff

BEST SEASON
“It’s a toss up right now between Heroes vs. Villains and Brains, Brawn and Beauty. And I’m probably going to go with Heroes vs. Villains right now. But I like both of those and I like both Fans vs. Favorites.”

BEST WINNER “Man, that’s a tough one. If you look at our show, this is what’s fascinating: white, Asian, Hispanic, African-American, male, female, straight, gay, tall, short, fat, skinny, ugly, beautiful, smart, dumb, old, young. Everyone has won this game—from John Cochran, the least likely, to Boston Rob or Parvati, the archetypes for the manipulative types. It’s hard to pick one favorite winner but I’m going to pick Cochran, and the reason I’m picking Cochran is if I just look at the show from afar, Cochran fulfilled the poster, the premise, when we started—which was, on any given day anything can happen. You’re never out until you’re out. And Cochran is the guy who should have never been on the show. And he turned his liabilities, his social awkwardness—he turned that into asset and figured out how to win the game, and for that reason, he’s the guy you would put up there and say, ‘That should remind everybody that no matter whatever it is you do in life, it’s possible.’”

 BEST NON-WINNER
“I think I would put Spencer in that slot right now because he’s not awkward like Cochran but he is an outlier in that he’s a young brainy kid who socially wasn’t as skilled. But he really learned so fast and he was really confident and had to temper that confidence and get humbled a little bit, and then made a run even when everything was against him. I put him in there with Rob Cesternino. They’re very different types of players but I think given the chance to play again, Spencer would be a threat in the same way that I think Cesternino now that enough time has gone by—I think if Rob came back, he might have a shot. I think the last time he played in the All-Stars, everybody felt like they knew his game and his ticket was up. But we’ve had so many people play now that the two of those guys together on the same tribe would be pretty fun.”

FAVORITE CHALLENGE
“From a show standpoint, the Ba Ba Booey [in Palau], because it lasted 13 hours. So many things happened that challenge. We had no idea it would go that long. When we tested it, I think it went 45 minutes. So the sun starts to set and we have no lights. We’re out in the middle of the ocean. We have guys scurrying back in a boat to base camp to get a generator and get some lights that we can throw up. So in the meantime, we light some fires. And Tom Westman says ‘Uh-unh. I don’t want fires. The smoke is blowing in my eyes.’ And our game is built on fairness so we said ‘Okay that’s not fair. Get rid of the fire.’ “Now we’re still waiting on lamps to come and now we’re in like, hour 5, then we go to 7. Now I got to pee. I’m starving and I’m thinking, Oh My God, this is hilarious. I’m complaining about having to go to the bathroom or want some food while watching people who at that point have been living for 37 days with nothing. The irony of all of that! And then it goes and goes and goes. And then finally Ian opens the door for a life lesson from an elder who schools him, and then we have an impromptu Tribal Council on the dock as they’re getting ready to get in a boat and head to camp. We’ve never had that many elements play out in a challenge. So for that reason, that’s my number one. “But the challenge that I secretly like the best is the one where we put a railing in the water and we make them hold on to the railing and just sit there until the water. And the tide rises so high that it starts to drown them and they’re shoving their nose up through the railing, because it is such a fight or flight moment. You’re instincts are telling you, ‘Oh my God, I’m going to drown!’ But your brain is saying ‘I’m not going to drown. All I need to do is flip my head up around this iron gate and I’m fine.’ So it’s panic versus thought, and this idea that I want to win but how long can I hold my breath? Oh my God, here comes the water again! I love that torture!”

BEST TWIST
“Up through season 29, I would say my favorite twist is probably the hidden immunity idol. It’s just given us so much story that I laugh when people hit me on Twitter and say, ‘You should do a season without any idols and without any twists.’ And I say, ‘You know, if you think through that for a minute, this is why you can’t always listen to the audience because that makes no sense.’ That’s given us so much story, and when Russell started finding them without clues it evolved yet again. But I will say, in season 30, the theme excites me as much as anything we’ve ever done. Because it’s so real. It’s a real thing. People really are White, Blue, or No Collar. People are going to ask themselves, which one am I? And we do a new twist that’s taking the game to another level. It is jumping the shark, as we’ve done so may times, and pushing the envelope. And it’s interesting how it plays out. It’s very Shakespearean in how it plays out and I imagine that we’ll do it again. And I can tell you that for seasons 31 and 32 we’re contemplating doing another evolution in the game. And those are the things that are on our white board. We have this virtual white board for our creative team, and there are things that have been on there literally 13 years. And 13 years ago we were like, ‘No way, we can’t do that.’ And eight years ago you go, ‘Enh, it’s not quite right.’ And five years ago you go, ‘Maybe.’ And then suddenly you go, ‘You know what? I think it’s time.’ And that’s what fun about a show that’s been on for 30 seasons is that you ultimately get to try all the ideas.”

Jeff Breaks Down Cast

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DOkeynjDnwQ&feature=youtu.be

Jeff Probst

Gordon Holmes: What can we expect twist-wise for this season?
Jeff Probst: Twists this season…I think are going to surprise the players because of how simple it is. We don’t have a lot of twists planned. Our big twist out of the gate hinges on one change in the game. We’ve often done something where we say, “Pick one person to make a decision on behalf of your tribe.” That’s worked well. The nice thing about having one person is that no one knows your lie. So, what we’re saying is you have to share your lie. Two people have to decide whether or not to deceive the tribe. And now you’re linked with them. If you lie, they know your lie and you know theirs. What do you do? Do you get rid of them because they know or are you linked with them to the end? And part of the lie is a clue to an idol. Who gets it?
Holmes: In “Survivor: Cagayan” the chosen players had to decide between a bag of rice and a clue. To differentiate this twist; if you take the clue, you still get a smaller bag of rice to throw the rest of the tribe off of your scent.
(EDIT: To clarify, the way the twist works is two people from each tribe will have to make a choice between a big bag of BEANS and no immunity idol clue or a small bag of beans and an immunity idol clue.)
Probst: We’re hoping at least one tribe takes the bait. Cause when we have our switch, which we always do, people start comparing stories.  In a perfect world, the White Collar tribe lies. They live up to their name and they deceive.
Holmes: Why do you assume White Collar people will deceive?
Probst: (Laughs) They play the game the way it’s meant to be played. You make up your own rules. Given the chance to lie, and I don’t know about it? You will lie every day, all day. Maybe I’m wrong, but if I’m playing “Survivor,” that’s what I assume you’re going to be doing.
Holmes: With the economy in the state it’s been the past decade, is there any concern that the White Collars might be viewed as villains? Could this put them at an immediate disadvantage?
Probst: I don’t think any category puts you in an advantageous position. I think it’s a great crutch if you want to do that. Look at Cagayan, Morgan could have easily said, “What? Don’t just call me a pretty girl!” Instead she said, “I should be on the beauty tribe. I am hot and hot opens doors.” Anyone who doesn’t see that is being disingenuous or is blind to how the world works. In the same way, they all have things that are good qualities or bad qualities. If I was the White Collar tribe I’d say, “Damn straight I make the rules. I intend on making a few out here.  But, I have the work ethic of a Blue Collar and the ‘eff you’ of the No Collars.” If being called White Collar makes you uptight, then you probably are.
Holmes: They aren’t villains, but you’re expecting them to lie.
Probst: Lying on “Survivor” isn’t a villainous move. Lying is gameplay.
Holmes: You can get voted out for lying.
Probst: Sure! You can get voted out for lots of things. This is how I play “Survivor,” I go for the home run. I’m not interested in third or thirteenth. You’ve got to take a big swing. If I’m on a tribe and I get paired off with you and I say, “Dude, what do you think?” And you say, “Absolutely not, we’re telling the truth.” I say, “Just what I was thinking.” If you say, “I don’t know…” I say, “We’re lying, brother!”
Holmes: (Laughs)
Probst: That’s how you play! We’re giving you the opportunity for an idol! You can win the whole game based on the alliance you make with the power of an idol. Or, you can become a target. Are you going to sit in the shade or play in the sun?
Holmes: I’m not knocking lying, I’m just questioning why one group is more likely to lie.
Probst: You know what? Then I’d vote you out.
Holmes: But we had a deal!
Probst: I’d make a lie with you and then I’d get rid of you as fast as I could. Hopefully before the merge.
Holmes:  Soulless. Man without a soul.
Probst: So in a perfect world, the White Collar tribe lies, the Blue Collar tribe tells the truth, and the No Collar tribe debates it.
Holmes: Are we going to see the return of the Tyler Perry idol?
Probst: The Tyler Perry idol is not coming back this season. But, you say that with a little bit of a…did I sense something there?
Holmes: I wasn’t a fan because it reminded me of “Cook Islands” where Yul had the super powered idol.
Probst: I still submit; look at history. Look at the live show. When I said, “Would you have liked it if Spencer had found it?” And it was a standing ovation. It just fell into the wrong guy’s hands.

Shirin Oskooi

Name: Shirin Oskooi
Age: 31
Current Residence: San Francisco, California
Occupation: Yahoo Executive
Gordon Holmes: I’m told there’s some special significance with your last name?
Shirin Oskooi: (Laughs) You may notice that my last name has three Os in it for Outwit, Outplay, Outlast.
Holmes: Hmm…my name has two Os in the first name and a third O in the last. I might steal that before this interview goes to press.
Oskooi: Doesn’t count!
Holmes: I’m stealing your gimmick.
Holmes: Yahoo Product Manager sounds super important. What does it entail?
Oskooi: It means that you’re like the CEO of your own product. You do everything from conception to launch to post launch. You have an idea and a vision and you work with designers and engineers. You work with marketing and PR. You work with users to collect their feedback. You figure out what’s missing in people’s lives, then you fill that gap for them.
Holmes: Much like someone would want to do on “Survivor.” How many people are under you?
Oskooi: (Laughs) I run the org of Yahoo Answers, so while I’m not their direct manager, I’m probably running a hundred people. A hundred people are executing my vision.
Holmes: Keeping a hundred people focused can’t be an easy task. Can that leadership apply to the game?
Oskooi: Oh yeah. Another thing about being a product manager is that you don’t have people reporting to you, so you have to lead by influence.
Holmes: How can you win people over in a situation where there is no corporate structure and there’s a goal that everyone shares, but only one person can achieve?
Oskooi: That’s very similar to how it was at Google. There’s nobody I can go to and say, “They’re not doing what I want them to do.” At the end of the day the engineers were king and they could do whatever the (expletive deleted) they wanted to do. It’s really about a couple of key things. My style is really befriending people and getting them to believe in me and trust in me. Not that they really can or should, but at the end of the day if you win someone over on a friendship level they’re going to have a much harder time (expletive deleted) you over. And you’re going to be able to have more frank conversations to get them to do what you want them to do. I don’t want to be bossy and tell people what to do. These people are going to be very type-A.
Holmes: Oh…so you’ve watched this show?
Oskooi: I’ve watched a ton. I want to have a one-on-one relationship with every player in this game. At best, that would be an actual friendship with all of them. And at worst, I want to have a working relationship with them. I don’t give a (expletive deleted) what I feel about them. I wanna have groups. A threesome here and go-to twosomes over here. I’m going to be constantly running these numbers in my head and adjusting as necessary.
Holmes: What are your early thoughts on this cast?
Oskooi: I’m pleasantly surprised and excited. There are a lot of fun, high-energy, youthful looking people. And when I say “youthful” I don’t necessarily mean age. There’s a positive energy here. And for me, I was hoping to play with people who are fun rather than a cast full of Phillips and me. (Laughs)
Holmes: That would be an adventure.
Oskooi: It would be challenging, but not enjoyable. There’s a girl here with a tattoo on her face. There’s a guy here with feathers in his hair. There’s a guy who’s like a beautiful specimen of man. He’s got Greek goddess hair and he’s tall. And beyond that, he’s friendly and gentlemanly. He’s got a first class ticket to the end. Because in spite of being attractive, he’s also so nice. You can tell that he’s outdoorsy and skillful and has an artistic side. He’s the kind of guy I want to work with. I want him to trust me. But, I’m going to have to (expletive deleted) him over. In JT’s season, everybody just wanted him to win. Nobody talked about voting him out. I think we’ve got a couple of people that if I want them out that nobody is going to be on board. I’m going to have to do some shady (expletive deleted).
Holmes: First thoughts on Nicaragua?
Oskooi: It’s beautiful. The weather has been perfect, which is a downer for me because I was hoping for pouring rain for days on end. I think that it’s going to break everybody down.
Holmes: And it won’t break you down?
Oskooi: I’ll be miserable. But I’ve been miserable plenty of times, including in cold, wet weather. And I can help people get out of a dark situation, or I can push people over the edge if I want them to quit.
Holmes: You don’t like “morons.”
Oskooi: It depends on the kind of moron. Morons are great to play with. You figure out what their needs are and make sure that they’re being met. It’s the stereotype that you get a couple of young girls who don’t know what they’re doing. They’re looking for mommy/daddy figures. As long as you’re keeping them happy and keeping them fed, they’re don’t realize they’re playing a game and will vote the way you want them to vote. It’s easy to get them to hate somebody. There’s one girl, she’s got a nose ring and short blonde hair, she reminds me of Kat. She walks and she will kick a rock and then be like “(expletive deleted)!” and then keep going.
Holmes: (Laughs)
Oskooi: And that just happened. I want her on my side. There’s no way that girl can win. She’s going to be a sore loser, she’s going to be a sore winner.
Holmes: Any issues with lying?
Oskooi: Lying comes easy to me. It’s like my first language. And because I’m such an expert at lying, I don’t believe in frivolous lying. I think people are going to come in thinking they need to make a big move and they’re going to lie a lot. It’ll be really easy to catch them in those lies. The easiest way is to let them run their mouths. And then a couple of days later you pick on a bunch of small things. And when you see their reaction you can see if they remember.
Holmes: You have a boyfriend at home, will that influence your ability to flirt?
Oskooi: I’m totally OK with flirting. But because I’ve had a boyfriend for four years, and we’re practically married, I haven’t had to be a sexual being to the world.
Holmes: You feel like a partner.
Oskooi: Right. And furthermore, for the majority of my adult life I was overweight by a lot…I was fat. I wasn’t attractive enough to use flirting to get ahead. And then there was a turning point where I lost a lot of weight and I learned how to flirt and how to use sexuality to get free drinks at a bar. So, I’m not opposed to doing that. I just don’t see myself in that way. I don’t think that I need to do that. It’s a tool that’s buried deeper down.
Holmes: You compared yourself to Jonny Fairplay and Rob Cesternino. I’m assuming that makes you an old school fan. Is it better to be a fan or to come in blind and open to more diverse possibilities?
Oskooi: I think if you know how to use the information that it’s an advantage. So for me, it’s an advantage. My boyfriend who watches the show because I make him, the more he watches, the worse the information he gives me. And he’s a brilliant guy. He has social aptitude. But for him, he does worse with more information. I think that’s a personality type. I know the twists and turns that have happened. I know what to read into and what not to read into. I know all the places the immunity idols have been hidden. As long as people don’t feel like I’m dangerous because of how much I know about the game, then it’s a tool. What I love about Rob Cesternino is that he had a one-on-one relationship with every single person at his camp. It wasn’t necessary friendship, but he had a relationship with everybody. That’s why he was able to flip as often as he did and as effectively as he did.
Holmes: He changed the game.
Oskooi: And another way where we’re alike is he was a big goofball.
Holmes: He still is.
Oskooi: (Laughs) But, I’m a big goofball.
Holmes: Any guesses as to what kind of twists Probst and his buddies might have in store for you?
Oskooi: It would be a twist to not have twists at this point.
Holmes: “Survivor: 30 – Twistless!”
Oskooi: Twistless! Back to season one. Pure…old school. That could happen. I just don’t think that will happen. I think they want to see people really squirm. I have a feeling that they might change the twists based on how the game is turning out. If they see one tribe that is way too successful, like maybe they’d do something to (expletive deleted) that tribe.
Holmes: So, “Survivor: 30 – (expletive deleted) Over Everybody.”
Oskooi: “(Expletive deleted) Over Everybody Constantly”…yeah.
Holmes: If you had your choice of any past player to align with, who would it be and why?
Oskooi: Amanda. I absolutely hate her.
Holmes: Amanda Kimmel?!
Oskooi: Yeah. To be clear, personally…I do not like her. But, she is loyal to a fault. She’s not quite as emotional as Dawn, but she’s emotional to the point that it makes you sick and alienates other people. If I could align with her I’d never have to worry about her deceiving me. She’d annoy lots of people. And, she’s good enough in challenges to not weigh me down, but she’s not always going to win.
Oskooi: I want to bring the chest bump to “Survivor.”
Holmes: That’s random.
Oskooi: (Laughs) No, it’d be like, “Yay! We won.” Chest bump. So, keep an eye out.
Holmes: So, I’m told you have a unique strategy for a fire-making challenge.
Oskooi: I’ve grown my hair particularly long so if we’re in a fire challenge I can cut off a ton of my hair, and it catches fire really easily, especially if everything else is really damp.
Holmes: That is hardcore.
Oskooi: I hope they have a gross food challenge. I’ve eaten every “gross” food item they’ve ever had except for a tarantula.
Holmes: I beg for that every season. Hopefully Challenge Producer John Kirhoffer will come through for us.

Rodney Lavoie Jr.

Name: Rodney Lavoie Jr.
Age: 24
Current Residence: Boston, Massachusetts
Occupation: General Contractor
Gordon Holmes: Your inspiration in life is a gentleman by the name of Tom Brady, quarterback for the New England Patriots. And, you refer to his wife Gisele Bundchen as a “slampiece.”
Rodney Lavoie Jr.: (Laughs)
Holmes: Could you do me a favor and define the word, “slampiece”?
Lavoie: No, she’s a dimepiece!
Holmes: Alright, the bio I was handed says, “slampiece.” What is a dimepiece?
Lavoie: You can be good looking, but you’ve got no personality. You’ve got no gift for gab. But she’s a businesswoman, she’s a superstar, she’s a model. And you can tell she’s not one of those trashy pigs who’s sleeping with everyone. She’s with Tom Brady. She’s with the G.O.A.T. Those two are like lamb and tuna fish. They’re grilled cheese and a (expletive deleted) cup of (expletive deleted) joe.
Holmes: So, dimepiece is the highest possible compliment. Where did “slampiece” come from?
Lavoie: That bio must be wrong. Brady, I ain’t calling your girl a slampiece.
Holmes: Watch Brady’s a huge “Survivor” fan and is going to come after you.
Lavoie: (Laughs) Yeah, he’s like, “This (expletive deleted) kid!”
Holmes: So, you’re not a big “Survivor” fan. How’d you get dragged into this mess?
Lavoie: I was at “The Hero” casting for the Rock and they’re like, “Listen, ‘Survivor’ is for you.” And it’s actually better because people who have seen all the seasons, they think this strategy will work or this strategy will work. I’m coming in with a fresh mindset. I’m coming in with my strategy and how I do (expletive deleted). Not how three seasons of people play the game.
Holmes: So, you think it’s better to trust your instincts than to know what’s worked in the past?
Lavoie: I think this game is all instincts. It’s a mixture of instincts and luck. It’s like a football game, if it bounces your way you’re going to win the game. You’re going to get hit, and you’ve got to get back up.
NOTE: Rodney had writing on his hand.
Holmes: What’s going on with your hand there?
Lavoie:  I’ve just got some notes for the interview. (Laughs)
Holmes: You’re not trusting your instincts?
Lavoie: (Laughs) I’m always prepared.
Holmes: You’ve seen your competition. Are you comfortable deceiving them?
Lavoie: I’m a (expletive deleted) salesman. My product…there’s 150 other people who sell it, and maybe they can sell it cheaper. Why do they go to me? Cause they trust me. They know I’m going to bang the job out the right way.
Holmes: Do you consider yourself a good liar?
Lavoie: I’m a great liar.
Holmes: Tell me about these tats.
Lavoie: This is “The King.” Cause what does a king do? He runs (expletive deleted). He ain’t a follower. I never followed nobody my entire life. I got this when I was sixteen. I’ve been hustling, I’ve been grinding since I was sixteen. Anybody who sees me, they look up to me and they respect me. That’s how I grew up. When I was younger, say I banged my knee on a rock? My father would see me crying  and he’d be like, “Are you bleeding? No? Then get the (expletive deleted) back up. You (expletive deleted).” That’s how I was taught. There are no tears. One of the guys said that 80% of the people cry on this show. You’re not going to see a single tear out of me.
Holmes: On your left you have tattoos of your father and your mother. Are they still around?
Lavoie: Yeah. My grandfather was a World War II hero. He was over in Italy and he saved over 51 men who were trapped. There’s a street named after him back in my hometown. He’s one of the realest dudes you’ll ever meet. My mother was 19, and my grandfather died. A year later, my grandmother died. So I never got to meet them. My mother lost both her parents and she had my brother. She was by herself. She’s one of the realest people I’ve ever met in my entire life. She’s a soldier. So, I got this tattoo because you only have two parents and you never know when they’re going to go. I was a young kid and that’s how wise I was. I’m not going to put something (expletive deleted) on my arm. I’m going to put my family on my arm.
Holmes: And what’s the tattoo on the inside there.
Lavoie: That’s my sister. I found her dead two years ago.
Holmes: That’s Natalie?
Lavoie: Yeah.
Holmes: If you don’t mind going into this; what happened?
Lavoie: The tattoo says, “Dear Natalie, even though I’ll never see you again, you’ll always be my big sister. Love Bubba.” That’s a nickname she used to call me. She was a lesbian. I was at one of the first gay weddings ever. They were playing (Sings) “I kissed a girl and I liked it!” And I had a great time. I had my shirt off, I was grinding with her fiancee’s mother. It was a great time. Shortly after that she moved to New Mexico. And she didn’t tell us, but she was living on the streets of New Mexico because they broke up. She didn’t tell us that. She was living in her car, she was doing drugs. So, she finally called my father and came back home. And one day we go to knock on her door. No answer. So, me and my father break through the window and we see my sister face down on the ground. She must’ve choked on her vomit, smoked some crack. It’s tough, man. People ask if I can survive out here. I say, “You got a sister? You got a mother or a father? You ever pick them up to see their dead body?” Until I got this tattoo I didn’t shed one tear because I had to stay strong for everybody. I’m a strong (expletive deleted). If you come after me, bring a hammer and knock me the (expletive deleted) out. You talk (expletive deleted) about my family? I’m coming after you.
Holmes: I can’t even imagine that.
Lavoie: It all stems from who you’re raised by. I was raised by an awesome mother. Her mother wasn’t there for her.
Holmes: How does your mom feel about you being out here?
Lavoie: (Laughs) My mother, when they took my phone, she was like, “Don’t hang up! Leave a voicemail!” She thought I was going to Iraq to fight the war. She didn’t want me to go. She’s happy for me, but she’s going to miss her baby boy.
Holmes: Her baby boy is going to be around some attractive women in the near future. Are you open to flirting to get ahead?
Lavoie: When you look on the Internet, people who watch pornos…
Holmes: There’s porn on the Internet?
Lavoie: (Laughs) That’s good. The number one thing you see is someone (expletive deleted) their college professor. I banged my professor.
Holmes: C’mon, Rodney. “Made love” to your professor. Let’s keep it classy.
Lavoie: (Laughs) She was awesome. She was a good girl. She took care of me. She calls me “The Italian Stallion.” I also banged my babysitter. Older women love me for some reason.
Holmes: Whoa…back up. Your babysitter? How old were you?
Lavoie: I was like 17 or 18.
Holmes: OK…so it wasn’t like you were literally in need of a babysitter at the time.
Lavoie: (Laughs) Yeah! It wasn’t like I was twelve.
Holmes: You ever go camping?
Lavoie: Not really. My idea of camping is you go see the Red Sox, you see the Patriots. You go to New Hampshire and you’ve got jet skis and a lake house. It’s going to be funny to watch me adapt to that kind of (expletive deleted) because that’s not my lifestyle.
Holmes: If there is a twist this season, what do you think it’ll be?
Lavoie: You’ve got special idols. Maybe they’ll send a past player back on the show. There could be something with the merge. It’s like Jeff says, they keep the format, but they want to keep you on your heels. I’ve just got to adapt once it happens.
Holmes: If you could align with any past player, who would it be?
Lavoie: It would be Russell or Boston Rob. If I’m looking for an idol, I’ll be like, “Oh, I was looking for my earring piece.”  Rob would do stuff like that. But other than that we’re not alike. I’m good at hiding what I’m really doing. I’m aware of everything that everyone is doing.
Holmes: Leaders don’t fare very well on this show. They tend to be the first target. You’ve got a big personality. Are you worried about falling into the leader role or would that be something you’d pursue?
Lavoie: I sell Jordan sneakers back home. I have kids who don’t even make a profit line up outside of the mall. I have 20 of them buying sneakers for me. I hand them the money and they buy them for me. They resell for a lot of money. Now there are no more sneakers left in the mall. Now they’re in my (expletive deleted) trunk. I’m the store. Instead of them being $150, I make a thousand or two off of each pair.
Holmes: Wait, how are these kids not making a profit?
Lavoie: They respect me. They love me. I give one kid $100 and he gets all of his crew and I hook them up with beers…lounge chairs…a turkey sandwich. I take care of them.
Holmes: These kids need an agent. If you’re making thousands, I’m gonna want more than a turkey sandwich.
Lavoie: (Laughs) I’ve got a good personality! I can convince someone to do something so dumb, but I make it sound so good. I’m gonna give the camera the real Rodney, but when I play the game I’m gonna fall back. I’m gonna let everyone else dig their holes. You see people telling people what to do. Who’s the whack job?
Holmes: You’re going to have to be way more specific.
Lavoie: Phillip. He’s all up on people. You’re in the heat and you’re frustrated. You’ve got to lift people up. I remember it was three days out and the girl at Tribal says she wants cookies. Malcolm answered it perfectly. He said, “You know what? It may not have been my answer, but that’d be nice.”

Holmes: What do you think of your future tribemates?
Lavoie: I’m very comical. I love busting people’s balls. You’ve got Mike Tyson, the girl with the face tattoo. You’ve got Colonel Sanders with the beard. Harry Potter’s grandfather. You’ve got Pocahontas with the (expletive deleted) feathers in his hair. With his food he does this trance thing every time he eats. Some weird cult stuff, I don’t know what he’s doing. You’ve got the two older women who I love. Mark it down, I think me and them are going to pair up. I’ve got a solid two in my back pocket. Older women have experience. They’ve got to last longer. The young women after five days? The estrogen is going to boil up. And they’re not ready for this game. I can tell these girls are real soft.
Holmes: So no potential professors or babysitters?
Lavoie: I think they picked the perfect cast for me not to fall in love with any of these broads. They’re so mediocre, it’s not even funny. There’s no (expletive deleted), there’s no (expletive deleted). So I’ll be flirting, but I’m not into these broads at all.

Jenn Brown

Name: Jenn Brown
Age: 22
Current Residence: Long Beach, California
Occupation: Sailing Instructor
Gordon Holmes: So, why can’t I call you Jennifer?
Jenn Brown: Only my dad calls me Jennifer. And if I hear that name, I know I’m in trouble. So, it’s either my dad or the cops saying that.
Holmes: You seem like a straight-laced, saintly…
Brown: (Laughs)
Holmes: …perfectly behaved citizen. Why would the cops have a reason to call you Jennifer?
Brown: People have used the word “saintly” to describe me many times. I’m like a perfect, straight-laced, straight arrow angel. I’ve never gotten in trouble. I’m really a do-gooder in my community.
Holmes: I feel like you’re lying.
Brown: I’ve never lied in my life.
Holmes: Now I know you’re lying.
Brown: (Laughs)
Holmes: People end up with nicknames on this show; “Boston” Rob, “Fabio,” “Purple” Kelly. Are you hoping to end up as “Saintly”?
Brown: I’d go for “Saint” Jenn. Or maybe “J-Breezy” which is my pimp name.
Holmes: Pimp name? It doesn’t say “pimp” on your bio. I was under the impression that you were a sailing instructor.
Brown: Technically pimping is not always legal in the country.
Holmes: My understanding is that it’s a tough occupation. I think the saying goes, “Pimping is difficult.”
Brown: The correct saying is, “Pimping is most difficult.” But I don’t think I’m going to have that hard of a time pimping, because I listen to a lot of Snoop Dogg and I do own some fur.
Holmes: We’re way off topic.
Holmes: You’ve watched “Survivor” since the 3rd grade. That makes me feel like the oldest man alive.
Brown: Well, you are the oldest man alive.
Holmes: That’s untrue. Jeff Probst is much older than I am.
Brown: I know you’re old because you’re unfamiliar with how hard it is to pimp.
Holmes: Off topic! Although, I’m very proud that we’re two minutes into this interview and we haven’t cursed yet.
Brown: (Expletive deleted)
Holmes: Two minutes and fifteen seconds. We might have a record.
Holmes: Alright, let’s get back on track. I’m gonna blow your mind.
Brown: I’m ready.
Holmes: People lie in this game.
Brown: What?!
Holmes: It’s happened a time or two.
(Jenn stands up and leaves)
Holmes: Sit back down.
Brown: (Laughs)
Holmes: I know you’ve never lied before.
Brown: “Saint” Jenn does not lie. She’s not sarcastic. She’s never told an untruth.
Holmes: “Saint” Jenn is a breath of fresh air in this horrible game. Are you a good liar?
Brown: I’m a great liar. You can’t play this game and not be a great liar.
Holmes: That’s not true.
Brown: OK, you don’t last long if you’re not a good liar.
Holmes: That’s a much more accurate statement.
Brown: I’ve been lying to you the whole time. My name’s not even Jenn.
Holmes: (Expletive deleted), it says so right here.
Brown: Nice, I made you curse.
Holmes: I hope you’re proud of yourself.
Brown: I am!
Holmes: Are you comfortable flirting to get ahead in the game?
Brown: I’d be totally comfortable with that in a normal situation and I normally am comfortable with flirting. It’s fun. It’s not necessarily flirting, I like talking to people. But people misconstrue it that way. I’m young. I’m not a two on the scale.
Holmes: So modest.
Brown: (Laughs) People think I’m flirting to get drinks. No, I’m talking to someone and they buy me a drink. It’s not my fault. However here, I’m definitely one of the least attractive girls. There’s not even a question in my mind. There are two chicks in there who look like Barbie. Proportions…everything! They look like (expletive deleted) Barbie. I’m not even going to try to compete with that. With flirting, sometimes people go too far. They’re cuddling, or they kiss a little. And then when that happens, when a couple forms, the girl is the first one gone. And, I’ve seen every season. I’m not stupid.
Holmes: Do you think it’s an advantage to be a hardcore fan or is it better to trust your instincts?
Brown: You can’t not know the game and then come in to play it. That’s like playing Dungeons and Dragons and just rolling the dice.
Holmes: How often do you play Dungeons and Dragons?
Brown: Let’s not talk about it.
Holmes: Are you a level 12 Paladin Mage?
Brown: You just made that up.
Holmes: I did.
Brown: You’re wearing that shirt and I expect a little more nerdiness out of you.
(Note: Gordon was wearing a “Lost” shirt.)
Holmes: Were you a “Lost” fan?
Brown: I watched it all, but I hated it. Why did you even make the show? What the (expletive deleted) was half that stuff? (Expletive deleted) explain it.
Holmes: I agree.
Brown: Seriously, (expletive deleted) “Lost.”
Brown: There’s a snakeskin in that tree. Look at that (expletive deleted).
Holmes: It’s yours if you want it.
Brown: Hey!
Holmes: There are benefits to these interviews.
Brown: I can be the pimp of “Survivor” with a nice snakeskin boa. Maybe find another snake and get some snakeskin boots.
Holmes: I like that you have goals coming into this game other than, “I wanna win.”
Brown: That’s boring. I want to start my own ring of elicit…
Holmes: The first house of ill repute on “Survivor.”
Brown: (Laughs) My own tribe out on my own.
Holmes: You’ll show up at challenges and be like, “Nah…I’m good. I’m making thousands of dollars, I don’t need fishing gear.”
Brown: I’ll just look at Jeff and be like, “Nah, son.”
Holmes: What’s a deal breaker for dating someone?
Brown: Liking peanut butter. Just kidding. But, it’s Satan paste. It ruins everything.
Holmes: You’re a crazy person.
Brown: It ruins foods! You ever seen a chocolate chip cookie and you’re like, “(Expletive deleted) yeah! A chocolate chip cookie!” You walk over, put it in your mouth and it’s a peanut butter chocolate chip cookie?! You might as well…
Holmes: Say it.
Brown: No.
Holmes: Say it.
Brown: No.
Holmes: Why are you even here?!
Brown: Because I was about to say something terrible. There’s a line. I don’t need that on the Internet.
Holmes: Tell me off the record.
Brown: (OFF THE RECORD)
Holmes: OK, I’m glad there’s that line. Smart. I’m glad there’s a tiny net that catches some of that stuff.
Brown: I generally don’t, but if it’s going out into the world, I don’t need hate mail.
Holmes: Nobody reads this anyway. But seriously, what is the weirdest reason for dumping someone?
Brown: Um…texting a winky face.
Holmes: The monster.
Holmes: Are you used to camping, living outdoors?
Brown: Yeah, my major in school was Outdoor Recreation and Leisure.
Holmes: That’s a real major?
Brown: (Laughs) It’s a real major. It’s underwater basketweaving. One of my classes was camping. You went camping for a week and got credit for it.
Holmes: What are you like when you don’t eat?
Brown: I get so hangry. I’m a very hangry person. Between me saying “I’m hungry,” you’ve got about a five-minute window before I get very upset at people. However, this is when I know there is food to be had. If I’m on a sixteen-hour plane ride, I sure as hell don’t want to pay eighteen dollars for stale cheese. Not that cheese isn’t my favorite food.
Holmes: OK, we had to agree to disagree on that peanut butter thing. But cheese is awesome.
Brown: Between final casting and now, I gained like eight pounds because all I did was eat cheese. I was like, “Cheeeeeese!”
Holmes: So, that was a strategy so you’d have weight to lose out here?
Brown: Yeah. Now I have weight to lose.
Brown: Do you ask everyone the same questions?
Holmes: Some of them. I cover the basics with everyone to get a feel for their gameplay. Lying, flirting, dealing with the conditions…
Brown: What does my bio say about me?
Holmes: A lot of stuff. I think it’s stuff you wrote.
Brown: Oh yeah, it is.
Holmes: What do you think is going to happen once you’re dropped on a beach?
Brown: I know we’re going to be split into three tribes, which I prefer. It seems like my odds of staying are better. I don’t have a 50/50 chance of going to Tribal, I’ve got a 66/33 chance. Well, 66.6666…
Holmes: You sure that wasn’t a math degree?
Brown: (Laughs) I’m really good at school actually. I graduated early.
Holmes: They always ask you guys which “Survivor” you’re most like and everyone says they’re either Parvati or “Boston” Rob.
Brown: I don’t like returning players. When they keep coming back and coming back, I’m like “Give us a chance!” They already know what they’re doing. It’s no fun to watch people who know how to play the game play the game.
Holmes: I feel it gives me a better read to ask; if you could align with any past player, who would it be?
Brown: I liked Rudy, the old guy, he reminded me a lot of my dad. The people that seem the most honest, I would like to align with because I’m super not honest. So, at least I’d know I could trust them.
Holmes: What are your first impressions of this cast?
Brown: Dances with Wolves is my favorite human being here. I’m sure you met him yesterday.
Holmes: I can’t say.
Brown: I know you have, with the feathers?
Holmes: I can’t say.
Brown: (Laughs) I hope he’s on my tribe because I feel like he’s going to Feng Shui the entire shelter. And, he seems like the most like me. I think I’d get along with him. The tall, younger guy with brown hair. I like him. I’d like to play with him. Actually, let me rephrase that…I’d like him to be on my tribe. And then, the lady with the shorter blonde hair, she’s older. She seems like me in 25 years and I like that too. It’s scary to see where I’m going, but our personality seems the same. There are a couple people that I already hate because of their antics. There’s a chick, that when we were getting ready for press, she straightens her hair and takes 45 (expletive deleted) minutes. Oh, there’s a crab.
Holmes: What’s wrong with straightening your hair?
Brown: We’ve got one plug in the whole place so we have to take turns. She spends 45 minutes straightening all of her hair. We’re in the middle of the humid (expletive deleted) beach. And then, we’re all standing there like, “Are you serious?” We’re all hating her. When she’s done, she ties it up. And we’re thinking, “What was the purpose!” If she’s on my tribe I will vote her out just for that action.
Holmes: You’re holding up the vote and saying, “You’ll get plenty of hair-straightening time now.”
Brown: This is because of that incident, (expletive deleted).

Kelly Remington

Name: Kelly Remington
Age: 44
Current Residence: Grand Island, New York
Occupation: State Trooper
Gordon Holmes: Kelly, I read something troubling in your bio…why are you using your nightstick, taser, and pepper spray before you leave the house?
Kelly Remington: (Laughs) You don’t know my girlfriend.
Holmes: No, but I want to.
Remington: She doesn’t listen, so I have to bring down the law.
Holmes: I don’t approve of any kind of partner abuse. But as long as it’s between consenting adults, I’m all for it.
Remington: We get bored easily.
Holmes: Your pet peeve is commitment? I need a commitment before I let someone pepper spray me.
Remington: It’s not my pet peeve, I’m just scared of it. To stay with someone for the rest of your life? To be with one person? But once you find that true person it won’t be that difficult.
Holmes: How long have you been with your partner?
Remington: A year. I’m getting close. I’m thinking this is maybe, possibly the one.
Holmes: Maybe, possibly. Sort of…kind of.
Remington: (Laughs)
Holmes: Does that mean flirting is off the table, or do you and her have an agreement?
Remington: Anything is on the table. She knows this is a game. We’re strong, we’re solid. Whatever it takes, she’s good with it. She’s not one of those jealous freaks.
Holmes: Well, she definitely knows you won’t commit to anyone out here.
Remington: (Laughs) She definitely knows that!
Holmes: Are you going to let people know about your sexual orientation?
Remington: I’m not, because guys think with their penis, and if they think they’re going to score, I’m definitely going to let them think that. And I get along better with guys than with women, so I think I’m going to get along fine. And I don’t think they need to know because that could play against me. I’m just going to be low key.
Holmes: Does that ever cause you problems at your job?
Remington: No. The guys respect me and I respect them. We talk about things…like…
Holmes: What things?
Remington: You know…different things about women. We have fun.
Holmes: You refer to yourself as someone who’s good at lying.
Remington: I can lie with the best of them. I can tell when they’re lying and I can make them believe things.
Holmes: Are you going to go the Tony route and hide the fact that you’re a police officer?
Remington: I’m not going to let them know what I do for a living. I’m going to look them right in the eye and I’m going to swear on my children, which I don’t have, and I’m going to make them believe something that’s completely not true.
Holmes: You’re going to tell them you have children?
Remington: Actually, I’m not. I’ll swear on my nieces, maybe. I don’t want to get caught up in a big lie.
Holmes: What is your pretend occupation?
Remington: Bartending and I’m going back to school and I’m in the military.
Holmes: And you know enough about those fields to be convincing?
Remington: Yeah, I think so. I’m going to say I work at a corner bar. Beer and shots, nothing extravagant.
Holmes: So, if someone’s like, “Boy, I could go for a Tom Collins,” you’d know what was in that?
Remington: Yes.
Holmes: Good. Cause I don’t.
Holmes: Are you a “Survivor” fan?
Remington: Huge! Since the beginning.
Holmes: Is it an advantage to come in with that much knowledge or is it better to trust your gut?
Remington: Being a fan is a huge advantage. From Richard Hatch to when Tony just won, you’re trying to get to their emotions. It’s more of a mental, social game. Who’s good at a party is going to be good out here.
Holmes: What’re we doing with this million dollars after you win?
Remington: First, I will buy my mom a nice little place because she doesn’t live in the best place. Then I’ll buy my girlfriend a nose job because she snores at night and I don’t get any rest. (Laughs)
Holmes: Man, I wish my girlfriend would win “Survivor.”
Remington: (Laughs) Then we could get some sleep!
Holmes: You should try ear plugs.
Remington: I do! It’s horrible. But, she’s tried everything. She’s a tall 5’11” beautiful blonde, but she snores like a man. I’ll wake up and think, “Did I get drunk and go to sleep with a guy?”
Holmes: She must love that this is going to be a part of our interview.
Remington: (Laughs) Every word of this?
Holmes:  Every word.
Remington: I love you! You’re my lover!
Holmes: It doesn’t say which “Survivor” you’re like, which is good because I hate that question.
Remington: Right.
Holmes: I want to know which “Survivor” you would align with.
Remington: Definitely with Tony.  He knew how to play the game and how to focus on people’s best interests. He knew how to play people’s emotions. He was so in tune with what people were doing.
Holmes: One of the big things in Tony’s season is when he swore on his badge. Sarah really hated that. Is that a big deal?
Remington. No…he did a great job. Sarah was just pissed because…Sarah’s young. It’s for a million dollars, who gives a (expletive deleted).
Holmes: How do you do without food?
Remington: I’m good.
Holmes: I’m the worst.
Remington: Nah, I’m fine. PMS is the worst for me.
Holmes: I don’t have to worry about that. What about paranoia? Thirty nine days of people wandering off into the woods and talking about me seems like a nightmare. I’d imagine as a police officer, you have to be aware 24/7.
Remington: Yeah, being out here now…when we got together…the game’s being played right now. We’re in it. You’re thinking of who’s smiling at who, who isn’t doing anything, who’s laid back, who’s giving eye contact? It’s game on.
Holmes: What are your early thoughts on the cast?
Remington: I already know who I’m aligned with. I already know who I want to get out first. I know who the strong people are, who the weak people are.
Holmes: Alright, spill it.
Remington: It’s obviously Brains vs. Beauty vs. Brawn. I already know the six I’m with. The military, maybe one of the older ladies. I know who the beauties are because they’re beautiful. And, I know who the brains are cause their noses are in books. I know who I’m aligned with, I know the annoying ones, I know the ones who are arrogant and who think they’re going to win this.
Holmes: Do you have any experience roughing it in the outdoors?
Remington: Yeah, I’ve been in the military. So, being out here is not a big deal. Sleeping in these tents has not been a big deal.
Holmes: Yeah, but there are no tents in your future.
Remington: I think it’s going to be fine. We’re gonna have a good shelter, lots of firewood, we’re the strong tribe. We’re the brawn tribe.

Joaquin Souberbielle

Name: Joaquin Souberbielle
Age: 27
Current Residence: Valley Stream, New York
Occupation: Marketing Director
Joaquin Souberbielle: So, this is your job? You come to a beach and interview people?
Gordon Holmes: It’s not all I do, but it’s part of it.
Souberbielle: Do you have any openings? Need an assistant?
Holmes: You’ll have to get in line behind my mother and my girlfriend.
Souberbielle: Alright. (Laughs)
Holmes: It says here that you are “the best bull (expletive deleted) artist you’ve ever seen, hence my job.” How does that artistry tie into your job?
Souberbielle: I basically bull (expletive deleted) all day. I bull (expletive deleted) with the girls at the front desk to try to break down that barrier to find out who I need to get in contact with. And after I get into the office, I bull (expletive deleted) the doctor to let him know that he needs the services that we offer when the majority of the time he’s perfectly fine without them.
Holmes: And you’re very successful in this endeavor?
Souberbielle: Yeah, I’ve been doing sales my whole life, but I’ve been doing this since I graduated college in 2010.
Holmes: So you aren’t concerned about squaring off against some potential liars in this game.
Souberbielle: No, no I can tell when people are lying just by their mannerisms. The way they conduct themselves, the way they conjure up sentences. I have a really good way of telling. I’ve got like a lie meter.
Holmes: But how can you trick other people’s lie meters?
Souberbielle: Umm…
Holmes: It’s just a gift?
Souberbielle: Yeah. Sometimes I catch myself bull (expletive deleted) when I don’t need to bull (expletive deleted). Just to get one over on people when I shouldn’t be doing it. It’s fun for me, honestly. This is going to be a lot of fun for me. I honestly don’t think people have been working their whole entire lives to be a bull (expletive deleted) artist like I have.
Holmes: Derek Jeter is your inspiration in life, not because of his accomplishments on the baseball diamond, but for his legendary status as a ladies man.
Souberbielle: He’s a champ on the field, man. But you should see his resume of women he’s running through. He’s an all-star in my eyes. The guy’s a stud.
Holmes: Yankees fan?
Souberbielle: Yeah, I’m from New York.
Holmes: Cards fan.
Souberbielle: Oh, sorry to hear that.
Holmes: This interview is over.
Souberbielle: (Laughs)
Holmes: And in the rest of my interviews I’m going to tell everyone everything about you.
Souberbielle: (Laughs)
Holmes: Joaquin is a billionaire puppy murderer.
Holmes: You list “women” as one of your hobbies.
Souberbielle: I love women.
Holmes: Some people do puzzles and you…
Souberbielle: And I do women. I love all kinds of women. Short, tall, skinny, fat, dark, light…
Holmes: Life’s a buffet, my friend.
Souberbielle: It is, but I prefer brunettes. I don’t really do blondes. They were never really my cup of tea. I love women, but I love money a lot more. I won’t be blinded by the booty on this show.
Holmes: But flirting is in your arsenal.
Souberbielle: It’s key! It’s key to everything. In my job it’s the number one thing I have to do to get into these hospitals. The young girls, the wrinkly grandmothers, it doesn’t matter. I have no shame in my game. I do whatever I have to do to get what I want.
Holmes: Is there anyone at home who’s going to get annoyed if they see you flirting on “Survivor”?
Souberbielle: No, Joaquin is single. And, I like it that way. It keeps me out of trouble. I can do whatever I want. I’m going to have fun with these girls, I’m going to play with their minds. I’m going to play with their hearts.
Holmes: I like that one of the three things you’d take on an island is condoms. It shows you’re responsible.
Souberbielle: I’m a gentleman at the end of the day. Unfortunately we don’t have any on the island.
Holmes: I think there’s some kind of first aid kit.
Souberbielle: I think so, so maybe a rubber glove or something.
Holmes: Talk to Jeff.
Souberbielle: They want us to stay safe.
Holmes: The last thing they want is an island pregnancy.
Souberbielle: (Laughs) They might want that. It’s a nice story.
Holmes: You show up at the reunion with a little bundle of joy.
Souberbielle: The reunion is in June, that’s in nine months.
Holmes: For a reward you have pre-natal vitamins.
Souberbielle: (Laughs)
Holmes: This conversation went to a very weird place.
Souberbielle: That’s OK. I’m comfortable.
Holmes: That’s my goal.
Holmes: If there’s a twist, what do you think it’ll be?
Souberbielle: Oh man… Who the (expletive deleted) knows? Maybe they swap players? Maybe they bring back Redemption Island? I don’t know. No immunity idols? Who knows? Who cares? I’m here to win this thing regardless of what they decide to do.
Holmes: So, you aren’t like any “Survivor” player ever?
Souberbielle: It’s such a bull (expletive deleted) question. I’m from New York, Tony’s from New Jersey. He’s a sly bastard just like myself. It’s so cliché cause he’s the last one and he won it.
Holmes: I like to ask; who would you align with? That gives me a better idea of what you’re looking for in an alliance mate.
Souberbielle: I’m a very social guy. I can make friends with all walks of life. I’ve traveled, I’ve been to 23 different countries. I’ve seen all different kinds of people. I’m not afraid of new things. I’d align with a social butterfly. Someone who can speak to anybody. You can know everyone’s information. I’m going to be that guy that everyone thinks is very trustworthy.
Holmes: In the game, if two people walk off to get water. They aren’t really getting water. They’re plotting, they’re looking for idols, or whatever. Are you ready for 39 days of paranoia?
Souberbielle: I wouldn’t say paranoia. But I’ll have my eye on them. If I leave with someone, I’m doing the same thing. It’s something you have to deal with, you signed up for this game. If you see that, don’t be a fool. They’re here for the same reason I am.
Holmes: Why do you think you were cast?
Souberbielle: I’m very outspoken. Very social. Obviously everyone here is a good-looking person. And my background in sales and bull  (expletive deleted). I can talk to anyone.  I can find something compatible with each person.
Holmes: What do you think of this cast?
Souberbielle: They’re a bunch of (expletive deleted) characters. I love it. You have beautiful women of all walks of life. The guys are super cool, some of them are a bunch of (expletive deleted). It’s what I expected, honestly. These people are from all over and are from every walk of life. It’s typical of every single “Survivor” cast.
Holmes: What’re the plans for the money when Probst hands you that check in May? Besides diapers, of course.
Souberbielle: (Laughs) I’ve already planned yacht week. The first week of July in Croatia. I’ll spend a nice amount of it there. I’ll buy a house, give some away to my family. And then invest a lot of it. I dunno, after taxes it’s chump change. You can’t live off of it.
Holmes: Any experience in the outdoors?
Souberbielle: No, I’m your typical Long Island boy. I like the lavish life. Fast money, loose women, expensive champagne. I’ve been camping once and that was at a music festival.
Holmes: Alright, let’s talk about some of the things you’re about to experience and how you’ll handle them. Let’s start with the sun and the heat.
Souberbielle: Not a problem. I’ve been practicing. I’m fairly tan right now. I’ve been at the beach every single day. For a solid month I’ve been sitting in the sun.
Holmes: Lack of food?
Souberbielle: Hmm…I’ve been training my stomach. I don’t think it’ll be a problem. I’ll be irritable every morning. But I have to wake up every morning and tell myself what a blessing it is. Look at how beautiful it is where you are. People would die to be in the position I’m in. I didn’t apply to be on this show. They found me when I was on vacation in L.A. So, like the rest of my life, I’m winging it.
Holmes: So, you’re not a “Survivor” fan?
Souberbielle: No, I watched four seasons between the end of May and the middle of July. I wanted to see what I was getting myself into. And, after you’ve watched four seasons, it’s basically the same (expletive deleted) over and over.

Will Sims II

Name: Will Sims II
Age: 41
Current Residence: Sherman Oaks, California
Occupation: YouTube Sensation
Gordon Holmes: It says here that one of your hobbies is karaoke. What’s your go-to jam?
Will Sims II: My go-to jam is “Living on a Prayer” by Bon Jovi. Last year me and my wife got pranked at the gas station by Jay Leno. I sang “Living on a Prayer” and she did “Sweet Dreams” from the Eurythmics.  And we had 25 million hits on YouTube.
Holmes: What was it like to have that level of notoriety for something so odd?
Sims: It was crazy. That’s just what we do. We have fun. Going to the gas station and singing? And 25 million hits later Bon Jovi sent us a video message. When patrons come to the bar they keep looking, then they finally figure out who I am. They take a picture, I give them a drink, and they leave me a nice tip.
Holmes: And if you get in trouble in the game you can be like, “You can’t vote me out because the union’s been on strike and I’m down on my luck…it’s tough…”
Sims: (Laughs) So tough. I don’t know if I’ll sing, but I’ll use my people skills to maneuver. It’s hard to vote someone off that you like.
Holmes: Are you going to share your adventures at the gas pump with your tribemates?
Sims: If they ask I’ll indulge. But if they don’t, no. I just want them to know me as Will.
Holmes: Are you a “Survivor” fan?
Sims: I am a “Survivor” fan. Probably not as big as everyone else, but I do enjoy the show.
Holmes: How often have you watched?
Sims: I’ve probably seen seven or eight seasons.
Holmes: Your bio says the “Survivor” you’re most like is Rupert, but it doesn’t expound on that. What Rupertarian characteristics do you possess?
Sims: Rupert was just a fun-loving guy. He took things as they came, he never really got stressed out.
Holmes: Fairplay might disagree with that.
Sims: (Laughs) Well, he stayed true to his self. That’s the kind of game I’m going to play.
Holmes: If you could align with any past “Survivor” who would it be?
Sims: I liked Tony, I liked Fairplay, and I like Rupert.
Holmes: How would they help your game?
Sims: Rupert and I would balance each other out. He’s a bigger guy. Fairplay, he’d bring out the sneakiness in me. I’d have to dig deep in my soul. The way he played it with his grandma, that was a little bit extreme for me.
Holmes: But ten years later we’re still talking about it.
Sims: Yeah, and Tony played the game well. Tony was just smart.
Holmes: There’s quite a bit of deception in this game. Are you comfortable lying or is that a line you won’t cross?
Sims: You have to. This game is about Outwit, Outplay, Outlast. Whatever I need to do, I’m going to do.
Holmes: Are you a good liar?
Sims: I’m a great liar. (Laughs)
Holmes: Are you able to detect when other people are lying?
Sims: Most of the time. There’s a difference between manipulating and blatantly lying. People who blatantly lie and you know they’re lying? That’s my pet peeve. But, if you embellish a little, that’s fine.
Holmes: Is your wife going to be upset if you need to get close to some of these ladies out here?
Sims: I’m a bartender, so I flirt to make tips. That’s not a problem. I just have to know the level of flirtation.
Holmes: Do you and your wife have a level that’s acceptable?
Sims: No, she trusts me. At the end of the day I am married and I’m faithful to my wife. I’m not going to be this male chauvinist and be like, “Hey…baby!” I’m going to…
Holmes: Is that you’re game? “Hey, baby!”
Sims: (Laughs)
Holmes: Cause what I do does not work. I might steal that.
Sims: (Laughs) I’m not going to compromise who I am just to get a million dollars.
Holmes: Do you have any experience roughing it?
Sims: Not like this.
Holmes: Nobody does.
Sims: (Laughs) Yeah, nobody does it like this. I’ll go to the beach, I fish, but nothing to this extreme.
Holmes: I’m gonna throw out some things that are in your future and you tell me how well you’ll deal with them. Let’s start with excessive sun.
Sims: That’s going to be tough. The sun is not my friend. I’ve got sensitive skin. I’m not worried about dehydration or starvation, I’m worried about the sun killing my skin.
Holmes: What about lack of sleep?
Sims: I’m used to going on three or four hours of sleep because I work nights. That’s not going to be a problem.
Holmes: Lack of food?
Sims: That’s no problem, I get sleepy.
Holmes: What about paranoia? People running off into the woods to talk about who knows what.
Sims: I think it’s something I’ll have to deal with as soon as we get into the game. You get a good sense of people. Hopefully I’ll get a good read and I won’t be too paranoid.
Holmes: If there is a twist to this season, what do you think it will be?
Sims: I think the only twist that could be a downfall for me is if I trust someone and they backstab me.
Holmes: That’s not a twist, that’s just something that happens. Often.
Sims: (Laughs) Yeah, but because I’m playing it, I’m going to take it personally.
Holmes: That does happen. There are friends who never talk again after the show because of something that happens out here.
Sims: It’s for a million dollars!
Holmes: What do you think of the cast so far?
Sims: I think we’ve got a good mix. I’m getting a good read. There are a couple of parents like me. I’m getting a good vibe from them. There’s one dude, I think he’s military, I’m getting a good vibe from him. Then we’ve got a couple of artistic people. We’ve got a guy that I call Fabio Jr. He’s got these feathers in his hair. I think it’s going to be a great season.
Holmes: I always feel like being a bartender is a great job to prep you for “Survivor.” You meet a wide variety of people and you need to make them like you.
Sims: Yeah, I think that’s going to be my strength. I think most of the gamers here know the game. I’m not as well adapted to the game as they are. I’ll have to use my people skills to know when to zig or to zag.
Holmes: You’re a bigger guy. How are you feeling about these challenges?
Sims: I’m excited. Puzzles I’m not too good at. So, hopefully during the single immunities  I won’t have any puzzles.
Holmes: What’re you going to do with that million dollar check?
Sims: I’m going to cry.
Holmes: (Laughs)
Sims: And then me, my wife, and my daughter are going to go on a vacation to South Africa for a few weeks.

Joe Anglim

Name: Joe Anglim
Age: 25
Current Residence: Scottsdale, Arizona
Occupation: Jewelry Designer
Gordon Holmes: Your bio says you’re a jeweler. I don’t recall ever seeing that before on “Survivor.”
Joe Anglim: It’s a very unique major. I was the last to graduate from NAU with that degree. I’m a little disappointed about it because it was a great program. And with cuts to the budget, NAU decided to cut the program. I was a painting major, but after I took a jewelry course I kinda loved it. It was everything that encompassed what I wanted to do. I want to be creative, I want to work with metals, welding, soldering. It was like shop class on a minimal scale.
Holmes: It seems like there would be some security there. People might not want iPhones twenty years from now, but they’re always going to want jewelry.
Anglim: You’d think, but it’s tougher than that. It’s very competitive. What I did was more of a fine arts sense than diamonds and gold where it can become lucrative. That’s what big jewelers want. They want people who know how to set diamonds and know how to work with gold. So, yes and no. I’m more of an artist. I have a lot of growing and experience to attain before I become a fine jeweler.
Holmes: You said your father is your inspiration. How does he feel about his son’s crazy adventure?
Anglim: He loves it just as much as I do. I come from a “Survivor” family. He’s been my rock and the person I look up to. He’s taught me how to work hard and has helped me to become the man I am today. He’s so excited for me. Hopefully, either he or my mom will get to see me on day thirty five or whatever it is.
Holmes: For a “Survivor” family to get that call, it’s not just, “Hey, you get a trip to Nicaragua,” but “Hey, Joe’s still in there and swinging on day thirty five.”
Anglim: They’re already proud, just to make it this far. This is so amazing, I’m honored to be here. And season 30 of all the seasons?
Holmes: They asked you which “Survivor” player you’re like, and you gave the worst possible answer.
Anglim: Did I?
Holmes: Everybody always says they’re a mix of the best possible players. I have the challenge skills of Ozzy, and the idol-crafting abilities of Bob Crowley.
Anglim: (Laughs)
Holmes: You said, Rupert, Malcolm, Ethan, and Ozzy. (NOTE: This is from the original bio.) I wrote in my notes, “How did he forget ‘Boston’ Rob?”
Anglim: Well, there are different qualities about those people that I pick up on. People are going to think I’m like Malcolm because of the hair and the stature, the physical properties.
Holmes: Malcolm is the greatest human being I know, so be careful where you go with this.
Anglim: (Laughs) No, no…we’re just different. He’s really thinking, but he externally shows how he’s thinking. I’m more intrinsic. I compartmentalize what I’m thinking more that he does. Malcolm is one of my favorite players, but I’m a little more goofy and free-spirited.
Holmes: And Rupert?
Anglim: He’s a family guy. I’m very family oriented. I connect with Rupert on a different level than say “Boston” Rob who has got this swag. I don’t have that.
Holmes: The question I prefer is; if you could align with anyone, who would it be and why?
Anglim: Oh…
Holmes: It tells me about your strategy, do you want to use someone, do you want someone to use you, do you need to lead, can you hang back?
Anglim: The key in this game is you have to trust someone at some point. And it’s usually the first two that you align with. Your core three. Malcolm did it with Denise and it worked. It could be anyone as long as I can trust them and they can trust me. Someone I have a gut feeling about.
Holmes: What’re your thoughts on lying, deception, misdirection?
Anglim: You’re lying to yourself if you don’t think that’s coming.
Holmes: Are you going to lie?
Anglim: Yes.
Holmes: Are you comfortable lying?
Anglim: Maybe internally, no. But, I’m going to be as cool as a cucumber. It is part of the game and I’ve come to accept that. I’m a big believer in karma. I’m going to put out a good vibe, but I understand that this is a game. You have to tell lies. You have to shake someone’s hand and say I’m not voting you out tonight.
Holmes: It’s one thing to sit here on a beach with me and say, “I’m gonna go out there and lie to people’s faces and be super cool about it.” It’s another thing to…
Anglim: Live it.
Holmes: Exactly. You’re in an extreme environment out here. You could get very close to these people.
Anglim: Relationships in this game are a big part of it. But, when you vote them off, you have to say this relationship with you was real. It’s an absolute truth, but that’s the game. If it’s not you, it’s me. And if it’s not me, it’s someone else. Everyone dies, it’s just a matter of when and how.
Holmes: I like that.
Anglim: (Laughs) Thanks.
Holmes: I’m a big believer in owning your lies at Final Tribal.
Anglim: Yes, deny deny deny up until the Final Tribal.
Holmes: Even if you didn’t technically lie, just say you did.
Anglim: You have to own your game at the end, and if you’re wishy-washy it’ll come back to get you. Like I said, I love the game and I appreciate how the game breaks you down. I think I have a good grasp of it, but you don’t know until you’re in the thick of it.
Holmes: You’re a handsome gentleman, if you don’t mind me saying.
Anglim: Thank you. It’s the genes.
Holmes: There might be some lovely ladies out there. Is flirting a tool that you have brought in your toolbox?
Anglim: I’ll use any and every tool available. I don’t like to use my looks. In this game, they don’t matter as much as you’d think. It matters if you end up being a power couple and it gets you in trouble socially. So, I’m trying to stay away from that. I might be attracted to a girl, but I’m not going to be cuddling with her at the end of the night and give everybody else the wrong idea.
Holmes: Any predictions on if there are any twists?
Anglim: Oh, I know there’s always something fun. It’s been a while since they’ve done a men vs. women. But, I don’t get that vibe. I don’t foresee that happening. In “Survivor” 28 they had that special idol.
Holmes: The Tyler Perry idol.
Anglim: Yes. That might come into play. Maybe they’ll add more idols, a couple more switches, two tribes, three tribes…one big tribe? You know, it’s season thirty. You know they’re going to have something that’s just off-the-table new and crazy. But, I’ve been sitting here wracking my brain around ideas. But there’s no point. I’ve got to let it go. I’m going to take every day as it’s given to me.
Holmes: What’re your first impressions of the cast?
Anglim: It’s kind of a hodge-podge. It seems like there are some intellectuals in the group, not including myself. There seems to be some brains. A lot of people, just from body language, they seem…intellectually sound. They’re very observant. They’re watching people. And then you have some people that are more laid back. They’re taking their time and not caring. Maybe they’re struggling a little emotionally. Then you have people who are more animated like myself. Their body language has a little more energy. They’re antsy, ready to play. The men look very physical. There are some tattoos that I’ve been looking at. They have little stories in their tattoos. It’s hard to get a read. It’s hard to judge a book by its cover.
Holmes: Anyone you’re thinking of working with? Anyone you’re thinking of cutting loose?
Anglim: Until I have those first conversations I really won’t know. It’s all about personality and seeing who’s on the outs. Who’s causing distractions. You have to take all of that into consideration. I could say I want to align with the guy with feathers in his hair, but if he’s a little too extreme and too hippie for the tribe, then why would I align with someone who’s not in the majority?
Holmes: Are you concerned about paranoia?
Anglim: You have to take everything into consideration. Who’s going into the woods? Are they in your alliance? I’ve thought about it. Psychologically it’s going to weigh on you. But, that’s part of the game. I’ve invested most of my life in this game. I’ve thought of it in real-time, not just the forty five minutes you see on TV, but days and days with these people. I’m going to play my game and I’m going to watch people play their game. I think I’m good at reading people. I’ve done some reading, I’ve got some tricks up my sleeve to see if people are being honest with me.
Holmes: How do you do without food?
Anglim: Oh boy…
Holmes: Cause I’m the worst.
Anglim: I call it “Hangry.” Angry and hungry. I love cooking and I love food. I eat like a horse, man. I probably weigh 300 pounds on the inside. But, I have a very fast metabolism.
Holmes: Jerk.
Anglim: (Laughs)
Holmes: Enjoy it now, buddy. It’ll be gone soon.
Anglim: People say at 30.
Holmes: You get to have hair or metabolism. You don’t get to have them both.
Anglim: (Laughs) Hopefully it’s hair.