Kelly Remington

Name: Kelly Remington
Age: 44
Current Residence: Grand Island, New York
Occupation: State Trooper
Gordon Holmes: Kelly, I read something troubling in your bio…why are you using your nightstick, taser, and pepper spray before you leave the house?
Kelly Remington: (Laughs) You don’t know my girlfriend.
Holmes: No, but I want to.
Remington: She doesn’t listen, so I have to bring down the law.
Holmes: I don’t approve of any kind of partner abuse. But as long as it’s between consenting adults, I’m all for it.
Remington: We get bored easily.
Holmes: Your pet peeve is commitment? I need a commitment before I let someone pepper spray me.
Remington: It’s not my pet peeve, I’m just scared of it. To stay with someone for the rest of your life? To be with one person? But once you find that true person it won’t be that difficult.
Holmes: How long have you been with your partner?
Remington: A year. I’m getting close. I’m thinking this is maybe, possibly the one.
Holmes: Maybe, possibly. Sort of…kind of.
Remington: (Laughs)
Holmes: Does that mean flirting is off the table, or do you and her have an agreement?
Remington: Anything is on the table. She knows this is a game. We’re strong, we’re solid. Whatever it takes, she’s good with it. She’s not one of those jealous freaks.
Holmes: Well, she definitely knows you won’t commit to anyone out here.
Remington: (Laughs) She definitely knows that!
Holmes: Are you going to let people know about your sexual orientation?
Remington: I’m not, because guys think with their penis, and if they think they’re going to score, I’m definitely going to let them think that. And I get along better with guys than with women, so I think I’m going to get along fine. And I don’t think they need to know because that could play against me. I’m just going to be low key.
Holmes: Does that ever cause you problems at your job?
Remington: No. The guys respect me and I respect them. We talk about things…like…
Holmes: What things?
Remington: You know…different things about women. We have fun.
Holmes: You refer to yourself as someone who’s good at lying.
Remington: I can lie with the best of them. I can tell when they’re lying and I can make them believe things.
Holmes: Are you going to go the Tony route and hide the fact that you’re a police officer?
Remington: I’m not going to let them know what I do for a living. I’m going to look them right in the eye and I’m going to swear on my children, which I don’t have, and I’m going to make them believe something that’s completely not true.
Holmes: You’re going to tell them you have children?
Remington: Actually, I’m not. I’ll swear on my nieces, maybe. I don’t want to get caught up in a big lie.
Holmes: What is your pretend occupation?
Remington: Bartending and I’m going back to school and I’m in the military.
Holmes: And you know enough about those fields to be convincing?
Remington: Yeah, I think so. I’m going to say I work at a corner bar. Beer and shots, nothing extravagant.
Holmes: So, if someone’s like, “Boy, I could go for a Tom Collins,” you’d know what was in that?
Remington: Yes.
Holmes: Good. Cause I don’t.
Holmes: Are you a “Survivor” fan?
Remington: Huge! Since the beginning.
Holmes: Is it an advantage to come in with that much knowledge or is it better to trust your gut?
Remington: Being a fan is a huge advantage. From Richard Hatch to when Tony just won, you’re trying to get to their emotions. It’s more of a mental, social game. Who’s good at a party is going to be good out here.
Holmes: What’re we doing with this million dollars after you win?
Remington: First, I will buy my mom a nice little place because she doesn’t live in the best place. Then I’ll buy my girlfriend a nose job because she snores at night and I don’t get any rest. (Laughs)
Holmes: Man, I wish my girlfriend would win “Survivor.”
Remington: (Laughs) Then we could get some sleep!
Holmes: You should try ear plugs.
Remington: I do! It’s horrible. But, she’s tried everything. She’s a tall 5’11” beautiful blonde, but she snores like a man. I’ll wake up and think, “Did I get drunk and go to sleep with a guy?”
Holmes: She must love that this is going to be a part of our interview.
Remington: (Laughs) Every word of this?
Holmes:  Every word.
Remington: I love you! You’re my lover!
Holmes: It doesn’t say which “Survivor” you’re like, which is good because I hate that question.
Remington: Right.
Holmes: I want to know which “Survivor” you would align with.
Remington: Definitely with Tony.  He knew how to play the game and how to focus on people’s best interests. He knew how to play people’s emotions. He was so in tune with what people were doing.
Holmes: One of the big things in Tony’s season is when he swore on his badge. Sarah really hated that. Is that a big deal?
Remington. No…he did a great job. Sarah was just pissed because…Sarah’s young. It’s for a million dollars, who gives a (expletive deleted).
Holmes: How do you do without food?
Remington: I’m good.
Holmes: I’m the worst.
Remington: Nah, I’m fine. PMS is the worst for me.
Holmes: I don’t have to worry about that. What about paranoia? Thirty nine days of people wandering off into the woods and talking about me seems like a nightmare. I’d imagine as a police officer, you have to be aware 24/7.
Remington: Yeah, being out here now…when we got together…the game’s being played right now. We’re in it. You’re thinking of who’s smiling at who, who isn’t doing anything, who’s laid back, who’s giving eye contact? It’s game on.
Holmes: What are your early thoughts on the cast?
Remington: I already know who I’m aligned with. I already know who I want to get out first. I know who the strong people are, who the weak people are.
Holmes: Alright, spill it.
Remington: It’s obviously Brains vs. Beauty vs. Brawn. I already know the six I’m with. The military, maybe one of the older ladies. I know who the beauties are because they’re beautiful. And, I know who the brains are cause their noses are in books. I know who I’m aligned with, I know the annoying ones, I know the ones who are arrogant and who think they’re going to win this.
Holmes: Do you have any experience roughing it in the outdoors?
Remington: Yeah, I’ve been in the military. So, being out here is not a big deal. Sleeping in these tents has not been a big deal.
Holmes: Yeah, but there are no tents in your future.
Remington: I think it’s going to be fine. We’re gonna have a good shelter, lots of firewood, we’re the strong tribe. We’re the brawn tribe.